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I Do Not Know Why


Two nights ago you were aloft
in a hot air gas balloon,
the stay ropes in my hand,
You whirled in ever-widening circles
and twirled madly above my head,
before I let you go:
I do not know why.
And then you pitched and forked
you yawed and sea-sawed
your way to the ground
with a deafening thud

       There was seared flesh around
       tattered clothing, and perhaps
       the smell of death.
       I was dry-eyed though
       I do not know why,
       perhaps, because it was two nights back.
       And that was such a long time ago.

              But last night we had gone home
              to our desert Indus town
              all those familiar places
              even the flower beds were there,
              without flowers though
              I wonder why,
              perhaps, because we left so long ago.

                     But then you sent me back,
                     or said you yourself would go.
                     I do not know why.
                     And you walked me to the railway station,
                     or was it the sea-side wharf,
                     I cannot remember,
                     to send me to some unknown destination
                     or to go there yourself
                     I do not remember

                            And I was not dry-eyed
                            in copious torrents my sorrow flowed
                            though you rested your head on mine;
                            and arm around my shoulder
                            walked me to where I had to go
                            or where you wanted to show
                            yourself, to some one else,
                            I do not know why.

                                   And in our desert town in May,
                                   I was swaddled in heavy coats
                                   to keep out the icy winds
                                   the terrible gales that blew
                                   inside me, and all around.
                                   All that was last night
                                   which was not so long ago,
                                   perhaps,
                                   I do not know,
                                   I cannot remember
                                   I do not know why.