The sound of Sayonara at the time of parting is too
beautiful and lonely to my ears
Occasionally I receive a polite words of farewell like
"Please take care and good luck, Sayonara" or
"We will see with each other again, Sayonara"
But, each time I hear "Sayonara"
I feel the sound hooked in and beats my heart painfully
It may be because my words of farewell from long ago
have been simply a kind of
fuzzy expression like
"Okay, then we will see again" without adding Sayonara
to it
At 10 o'clock in the morning of October 26, 1987
I paid a get-well-visit to Mr. Shinpei Kusano staying from
cerebral infarction in
Red Cross Hospital of Musashisakai
He recognized me by the words of the attendant saying
"Shinpei-san, here comes Hideo-kun"
He just could say nothing more than "Oh ... oh!"
The time passed by with nothing in particular to talk
about with each other
On leaving the room, I said to him
"I have other appointments, so I have to leave now.
Please get well soon"
Nodding, he extended his skinny right hand towards me,
and
I held it with both of my hands, but I could not say
Sayonara, and so
It may be because any words of farewell were not given
by me that
He did not loosen the power of his grasp
I said to him
"I would like to pay a visit again. Let me come to see you
once again, please"
His closed fist at length loosened, however
I could not still take my hands away, and
We kept holding hands without any words for a while
"You will recover for sure. I will come and see you again"
I said
He nodded slowly but deeply, and
Our hands broke up finally
(It was 2 days before his death that I met him last
At the funeral ceremony in the crematorium
His bone was sprit and cracked just in front of my eyes)
I am such a weak willed person as I can not say Sayonara,
however
It was right that I did not say him sayonara at that time