July
Dear Julia:
I am afraid my answer to your letter will not please you.
As you requested I have searched for Jian Hui
in the market at Wu Dao Kou.
No one knows who she is.
I asked at every cloth shop
and in addition all the neighboring stores.
The German teacher who remembered her
Also tried, but could not find the shop any more.
I'm sorry. I know how much you liked her
and tried to help.
But so many come to Beijing from the South
speaking a little English, live somehow
for a while, then disappear.
Maybe she went home. I hope that is what happened.
It's been a long time-seven months-more.
Maybe you do not know the many changes
since you went back two years ago
to your own country.
Think of it:
The old apartment's gone. The open market
where we bought peanuts next to the basket shop,
remember? That's gone too.
And the canvas covered stalls-they had to leave.
They moved I don't know where. I miss them.
And choosing my own fish from the tub out front
where they were swimming, taking it back to eat-
I liked that. We do that at home.
I liked the cook stalls-
the pork buns and fried bread with sauce-
and standing in the street with friends and eating.
We still do that in other parts of the city.
But it makes me sad that everything is new
in Wu Dao Kou.
I know that these new stores bring in new business.
Still, when I leave-I graduate this summer-
I want to remember things as they have been
these four years past, unchanged.
You asked about Snow White.
A teacher told her that her English name
was foolish, though it translated Chinese.
I liked her name. But she is now Elaine.
That teacher said that mine was foolish too,
but I have kept it. Fonda. It is my own.
I will not change it.
But my life has changed.
I found the man
that I will marry in four years, a student,
advanced, whose work will take that long.
Both of us are certain. But he is from Korea.
Because of that I cannot get a job
though I am number eight in the senior class.
Of course I am willing to wait for him,
but I am ready to work, and I feel angry.
That will not surprise you.
I will keep in touch. It is easier for me
than for Jian Hui. I hope she writes to you.
Do not give up hope.
Perhaps she is safe after all.
You will stay in my memory,
a good teacher. My American friend.
Goodbye, and love,
Hai Bin