Funny Little Story
 Based on the  collections of Daiji Kawasaki, modified translation by
Hideo Yokokawa


In April, Ueno Hill is crowded by many visitors who enjoy viewing cherry blossoms. The daughter pf a magnate at low-lying area went to the hill to see cherry blossoms in full bloom, followed by her maidservants. She was very much proud of her looks, and while they were walking, she spoke unfavorably of the other women they met on the way to the hill; she was too short, she was too tall, her lips were small but nose was too big, her skin was dark, her forehead was too broad, etc., etc., etc. On the way back, they stopped at Shinobazu Pond, where she found her figure mirrored in the lake. She said. "She is not so pretty at all, either."




A mendicant priest staood in front of the house playing a shakuhachi. A man in the house told the priest to pass. By saying "Pass", he meant that the priest should leave there as he had no money to give. "If so, excuse me", The priest said and got into the house. Surprised by this, the man said "I told you to pass." Saying "If so, excuse me ," the priest got into his house further. He got mad at the priest and said harshly "Wow, you pass." Saying, "If so, excuse me ," the priest further proceeded his way into his rooms further. Entirely embarrassed, the man shouted, "Pass. Go away." Then, the priest left back door, saying "If so, excuse me ."



Magnet Inn

2 large inns stood opposite to each other, competing the abilities to attract customers. Oneday, t the master of one of them who had been managing to increase his customers bought a strpng magmet and put it in front of his inn. His wife wondered and asked him what it was for. He told her to keep it secret explaining anything to  her.Soon, a traveller was coming up to the inns. The master approached the traveller from the back and sprinkled iron powder on his shoulder. The traveler was pulled by the magnet and entered the inn. The inn was getting more and more prosperous. On the other hand, the master pf the inn at opposite side who lost lots of his jis customers undrstood the fact He bought the same magnet and set it in front of the entrance of his inn, too. Then, a strange thig happened. A traveler between the inns could not move at all at the center of the road, being pulled by the magnets from both sides . The master of the small inn which was next to another one approached the travelr and brushed away the iron powder from the traveler' shoulder. He could easily obtain and lead a new customer to his inn.



A Stubborn Couple

Long, long ago, there was a married couple. One day, their neighbor gave them a cake called manjyu. Both of them were very much fond of it and wanted to monopolize it. The husband offered his wife to make an outstaring game, saying that the either one that won the game can eat it whole. She accepted his challenge.  While they were staring one another, putting the cake bietween them, a robber sneaked into the room. Even though they realized this intruder, they still continued the game. The robber easily searched for the closet and stealed many expensive things and escaped quietly.  Unable to endure any longer, the wife screamed accusing her husband why he did't blame the robber. Sneering, he picked up the cake and said, "I won. This manjyu is mine."



How Do You Do?

Long, long ago, there lived a man who had lost his eyesight in his childhood. He has been desperately wanting to see his wife and children as well as all the things. One day, he decided his mind to devote to Benten in a shrine nearby his residence. He stayed and prayed there for 7 days and nights. After 7 days all of a sudden, his eye trouble was cured. He was in rapture with deeo thanks to his godess and began to walk towards his residence. Bit he could not tell in which direction his housewas. so he closed his eyes again and managed to reach his house. Getting into the entrance, he opemed his eyes, when he found a very beautiful lady. He asked her if she was his wife. She said with radiant smile. "How do you do? I am very happy that we see for the first tome."



I Go On Foot

Long, long ago, there was a very rich but too stingy man. He has been ill for a long time, and he felt that he might die pretty soon. So he called all of his family to his bed room as he wanted to say his firm will to his family.  He said to them. "For the repair and reconstruction of the temple, I have contributed lots and lots of money, but so far I have not any return at all. So, even if I died, you never ever spend any excessive money. Everybody attending there said that they were to follow his will and carry it out for sure. One of them asked how they should do with his funeral, saying, "Yet, shall we prepare a bier?" "No, don't do it because I have to pay the money to the laborers who carry the bier" "Okay, then, shall we have a cow carry the coffin?" "No. That costs for ca aw too." "Then, how about two persons shoulder it?" "No, I don't like it because I have to pay for those two laborers." All the family attended there was entirely at a loss. Then, the youngest little grand daughter said innocently. "Grandpa, you walk for your self?" "That's it. Yes, I go on foot"



The boy who paid a visit to Asakusa Kannon came back abd said to his father. "Dad, I deeply prayed today, and on my way back, I found a lost wonderful mirror by the roadside of Nakamise Avenue.
" "Oh, yeah! and then?" "I asked people around there if they had any idea of the person who had lost it. But nobody knew."  "That must be a Kannon's gift for you. You picked it up, didn't you?" "No, dad." "Why didn't you bring back the good fortune?" "Well, I bent down to pick it up, but I stopped." "Wow, why?" "'Cause, someone in the mirror was staring at me."




A man talked to children in a know-it-all manner. "The animals that have bifurcate hooves run rapidly, For example, do you know, rhinos living in faraway Africa?" "Yeah, isn't it like the one with a horn nose?" said a boy. "Yes, you are correct, It dashes like an arrow because of the bifurcate hooves" said the man. "Oh! if so, what happens to horses that have not bifurcate hooves? They run very fast" said an other girl. "Well, it is only because the hooves are not bifurcate that persons can ride on. If the hooves were bifurcate it is a terrible fuss to ride on horses, as they move far faster than the eye could follow" said the man. Then, another boy said. "Oh! What happened to caws? Whey are slow even though they have bifurcate hooves. Why?" "Good. The reason caws can only walk very slowly is because their hooves are bifurcate, otherwise they can not even move." said the man.



A Wolf's Fiasco

A hungry wolf came down the mountains.
tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat He heard the sound of footsteps of an express messenger. It's in the bag! -- he thought and awaited at the  center of the ro   ad widely opening his big mouth.  ... tat tat tat tat tat   The messenger jumped into his mouth without glancing aside and run through his body, then, with a pop, getting out of the
buttocks, the messenger left there quickly    pop  tat tat tat tat ....  
.Looking back, the wolf murmured. "Regretful, I should have worn a breechclout."



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