Always Messing with them Boys
Jessica Helen Lopez              

Hate Poem

Love had me baying at the hot moon like a fool dog
a mad bitch, set aflame by her own rabid stupidity,
crooning a torch song and dancing on my own grave

I watered the weeds that crowded my tombstone,
my plot of dirt and worms laid out for the wistful-hearted
tended to my blanket of soil and sorrow
laid it out over my head and played dead

I thought you might attend my funeral ?
but you had better things to do
sketch the skyline
trace her curves
with your pencil and charcoal
shade in her throat of dusk and cloud
roll around with her in your white
sheets of of onion-veined paper

Love had me asking why the blues
had to go and pick me
why I had to remember
with crystalline clarity
the honey thumbprints
you left on my thighs
the lines you fed me
dripping of amber and cyanide

the wicked, wicked ways
we plundered my bed
waged war
made love

Love had me not recognizing
my own reflection
rubbed my knees raw
laid me out rigormortis-style
looking like a mad-eyed mascara
witch woman
swollen in her bones
pacing my carpet
leaving it bald with wear
the same silly steps
from bedroom to window
from here to there

Head pressed against the doublepane
sheets of glass
steamed with my heavy breath
my empty breasts
my sagging robe
my silent phone

Love left me a childless mother
a thrill seeker, a junkie
hungry for nothing

Love left me a spoiled child
a tantrum flailing in my gut
a rotten tooth in the back of my mouth
a closet with a coat swinging from a skinny hanger
love left me lonely drunken trumpet player
when the jazz band has called it a night

love left me with a poem I donft want

love left me flaca, a dancing skeleton
the grimace of calavera
made me a gaggle of bones
singing the bittersweet blues
into a bottle of booze

it left behind bright colors
and migraines, a taste
for martyrdom
sirens and whistles
and a crown of thorns

stitched my spine
to the empty pocket
of my heart
love nailed me
to the cross

split my wrists
love left me aching
like an idiot

love left me spitting

love left me chanting

love left me
love had me
and I hope
that bitch
rots in hell